An unorthodox approach to meditating.

Don’t let anyone tell you that meditation is easy. “All you have to do is watch your thoughts, and your mind will become quiet,” Jiddu Krishnamurty called it Choiceless Awareness. As hard as I tried, I could not quieten my mind. I was ready to give up on meditation.

Out of desperation, I took to extreme measures to quieten my mind. I started by listening to music while wearing high-fidelity headphones and cranking up the volume. Low-frequency rhythmic sounds would drown out the noise in my head. I mainly listened to drums and chants and would drop into a state of “no mind”; lost in my music. The rhythmic sound of drums and the Gregorian and Buddhist chants would stop the chattering in my mind. The longer the music went, the better I felt.

I was so drawn to this experience that it became my practice for almost a year. Every night I would put my headphones on and repeat the exercise. I became addicted to the experience. My teenage son was in a punk band during this period in my life, and I took to going to his performances and losing myself in his music. I would close my eyes and listen to his loud band. This experience, too, as strange as it sounds, would quieten my mind.

After a year of listening to loud music through headphones and going to concerts with a view to “meditating” in this unorthodox way, I felt motivated to try traditional meditation. After quieting my mind through music, I would stop the music and sit quietly in meditation. I could watch my thoughts float like wisps of clouds in the sky. Often my mind would become still and completely quiet; in these moments, I was lost to the outside world, lost in the void. It felt good.

I meditate often. I drop into meditation in the noisiest of places, such as in crowds or at a party. I became skilled at Choiceless Awareness. I can watch my thoughts. I have flipped from being a scientist to a yogi of the mind. I can now switch quickly and seamlessly between two realities-the external reality and the internal reality. It is almost as if I have a quantum brain or a dual way of being. I can connect with the world of my senses or transcend my senses and enter a different reality.

If life is Maya, an illusion, as the Vedas say, or that there is more to reality than meets the eye, as scientists have proven, then what is real?

The Cheshire cat, in Alice in Wonderland, is the wise one, always ready with an answer to Alice’s questions. It appears and disappears at will. Sometimes the cat is gone, and left behind is its smile. Reality might be like the smile on the Cheshire cat. The smile is real, the cat illusory. What we don’t perceive might be more real than what we do.

When I look out of my window, I see trees with branches and leaves. The tree is separated from other trees by empty spaces, the branches are separated from other branches by spaces between them, and the leaves too are separated from other leaves by spaces between them. Without the spaces, the tree would be a big mush. Without space, there would be no objects. When we remove objects, all that is left are spaces in between, like the smile on the Cheshire cat. Does space give rise to objects? Can there be one without the other? Is the nothing of space something? 

The new frontier in physics is the “nothingness” of space. Physicists are trying to figure out what it is. Nothing apparently is not no-thing. At first, physicists believed that space was filled with the mysterious substance ether. This idea was experimentally put to rest by Michelson and Morley in 1887[1].  More recently, physicist John Wheeler commenting on Einstein’s theory had this to say about the nothingness of space “Mass tells spacetime how to curve, and spacetime tells mass how to move.” This put nothingness of space on the same footing as matter. “Nothing” mattered from this point on. Space was no longer an inert stage on which matter did its thing. Nothing is active in the cosmic dance, moving and being moved by matter. The nothingness of space is not emptiness but is as much a player (or should I say a dancer) as objects are in Shiva’s cosmic dance.

“Plato, who so vigorously avoided the void…. sounding a little bit like a chemist, seemed to view the background (void) something like a neutral solvent–something that allows other things to come to be without imposing too much of its personality. The background can’t have any personality of itself, otherwise, it would be showing its own face as well.” Wrote K.C. Cole, The Hole in the Universe.

Philosophers such as Plato and today’s scientists agree that the void of space, the nothingness, has no detectable features. So, what is this void? And how do we find out what it is?

“…suffice it to say that very little in the universe is nothing. Almost all the seeming nothings are sums of opposing somethings,” writes K.C. Cole. “What seems like a silent sea of nothing is an infinite number of positives and negatives, all joining together and splitting up in an endless jumble of uncertainty.”

Nothing is not no-thing, but, instead, is teeming with potential some things. It is full of matter and antimatter in equal proportion, canceling each other, which the scientists refer to as conserved quantities or the law of conservation. The things that are conserved are energy, momentum, and charge. The most fundamental things in nature are those that never change. These are changeless and timeless. As is the speed of light, it is a constant, no matter what. It is interesting to think that a photon that travels at the speed of light never ages. The photon that started at Big Bang is still the same photon. It is timeless.

Symmetry is a term used by physicists to describe the void or emptiness of space. It is what accounts for the void or nothingness but has no detectable features. Symmetry is the reason why the void appears as nothing, yet it is full of potential energy and teeming with matter and antimatter. Symmetry is what cancels matter and its opposite, resulting in nothing or the void. Symmetry is an important concept in physics. All the conservation laws are the result of symmetries in nature. Conservation laws are the accountants of nature; they balance the books, that is, they make sure that energy is never created or destroyed, and all the energy that we started at Big Bang is conserved. In other words, when we reassemble all the fragments of nature that happened during the Big Bang, we return to nothing.

Symmetry is the equivalent of Yin and Yang in Zen Buddhism. Yin and Yang’s symbol represents opposites that exist in harmony as one until that harmony is broken, and then they become opposites.

Another analogy for Symmetry is if you were to walk into a glass door thinking there was nothing there, and you shatter the glass into many pieces, you have just broken Symmetry and created something out of nothing.

When symmetry is broken, something emerges. Out of nothing comes something. In the beginning, there was nothing, just the void, which was teeming with potential something. By breaking this symmetry, our universe emerged at Big Bang. This is the creationism story in science.

The creationism story in the Vedas is written in hymn form in the Rig Veda. It too, speaks of how in the void, the opposite existed until “symmetry” was broken, and creation happened.

First, there was the void:

    Then there was neither death nor immortality

    , nor was there then the torch of night and day.

    The One breathed windlessly and self-sustaining.

    There was that One then, and there was no other.

In the void existed opposites:

The sages who have searched their hearts with wisdom

know that

which is 

kin to that which is not.

Rig Veda, Creation Hymn 1500 BCE —Translated by A. L. Basham

It seems that all of existence is the dance of opposites. When the opposites merge, as in Yin and Yang or in the concept of Symmetry, there is a void. The void is seemingly nothing but in it is the potential for everything.

From the void emerged the “opposites”-matter and anti-matter, spaces and objects, darkness and light. Without opposites, there is no existence. Without darkness, there is no light; without evil, there is no good. We know a thing by its opposite. Reality itself is non-dual[ii]; it is an undivided whole. Because of the limitation of our sense organs, we do not see the oneness behind appearances.

Most of us accept, uncritically, what our senses tell us is reality. We are like fish in a pond; all they know is water. To them, their reality is the pond; they have no reason to suspect that there is anything other than the pond. Most of us are like that, but the few, like the physicists and the ancient sages, who have gone beyond the limitations of their sensory perceptions, have brought us tales of what lies beyond. It is up to us whether we accept what our senses tell us is reality or find out for ourselves what lies beyond the reach of our senses.

“If you look at zero, you see nothing, but look through it, and you will see the world.”[iii] Robert Kaplan.

There is a void in each of us. It is the hole we feel in our being; it is what makes us feel that there is something missing from our life. This void is the source of energy that animates us. As Rumi, perhaps the greatest poet of all time, wrote:

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[1] (https://www.aps.org/programs/outreach/history/historicsites/michelson-morley.cfm, n.d.)

[ii] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZ0YFoUcY0s, n.d.)

[iii] (Kaplan, 1999)

 “Music has been reported to evoke the full range of human emotion: from sad, nostalgic, and tense to happy, relaxed, calm, and joyous. Correspondingly, neuroimaging studies have shown that music can activate the brain areas typically associated with emotions: the deep brain structures that are part of the limbic system, like the amygdala and the hippocampus, as well as the pathways that transmit dopamine (for pleasure associated with music-listening). The relationship between music listening and the dopaminergic pathway is also behind the “chills” many people report experiencing during music listening. Chills are physiological sensations, like the hairs getting raised on your arm, and the experience of “shivers down your spine” that accompany intense, peak emotional experiences.” (http://syncproject.co/blog/2015/7/21/music-and-emotion, n.d.)

Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Ravi Shankar, Madonna, Michael Jackson, the Beetles, and other great musicians have created works that transport us to realms of consciousness that mere words cannot. We know from neuroscience that music activates the brain areas associated with feelings, but the feelings that certain music evokes in us have a quality that is otherworldly and transcendental. There is magic in music.

Music that moves us has pattern and structure and movement and timing. “There is geometry in the humming of the strings; there is music in the spacing of the spheres.” — Pythagoras. “Counting, rhythm, scales, intervals, patterns, symbols, harmonies, time signatures, overtones, tone, pitch. The notations of composers and sounds made by musicians are connected to mathematics. The next time you hear or play classical, rock, folk, religious, ceremonial, jazz, opera, pop, or contemporary types of music, think of what mathematics and music have in common and how mathematics is used to create the music you enjoy.”[i]

Both music and mathematics are abstractions they cannot be objectified, yet they impact us in real ways. Their effect on us reveals aspects of ourselves that are non-physical and beyond the reach of our intellect; some call this our spiritual self or our soul. William James, the pioneering psychologist, and philosopher, describes this other aspect of our being thus “Our normal waking consciousness, rational consciousness as we call it, is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all about it, parted from it by the filmiest of screens, there lie potential forms of consciousness entirely different. We may go through life without suspecting their existence but apply the requisite stimulus, and at a touch, they are there in all their completeness, definite types of mentality which probably somewhere have their field of application and adaptation. No account of the universe in its totality can be final, leaving these other forms of consciousness quite disregarded. How to regard them is the question — for they are so discontinuous with ordinary consciousness. Yet they may determine attitudes though they cannot furnish formulas and open a region though they fail to give a map. At any rate, they forbid a premature closing of our accounts with reality.”[ii]

The effect that music has on us might be because music, in William James’ terms, is the “requisite stimulus” that connects us to this other consciousness that is so “discontinuous with ordinary consciousness.”

Lorenzo Candelaria[iii], professor of music history and literature at The University of Texas, writes

 “Painting, sculpture, and architecture might spur us toward holiness, but none can unite us quite like music. This is particularly true of singing — an art that invites group participation and can often arise spontaneously around a shared sentiment and a decent tune.”

Music plays a central communal role in every culture. Music is performed in churches, mosques and in temples because it entrains separate minds into producing a singular, powerful experience. A group of individuals becomes one. It becomes a spiritual experience for many.

“Without music, life would be a mistake,” Nietzsche on the Power of Music

Music is unique in its ability to entrain minds into producing a singular experience among all modes of expressing human feelings. The oneness of life that so eludes our senses can be experienced through music.

Music moves the soul.

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[i] (American Mathematical Society, n.d.)

[ii] (Brain Pickings, n.d.)

[iii] (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/lorenzo-candelaria, n.d.)

Notice how “be love” becomes “be loved” or “beloved” by adding a single letter; it bespeaks the transformative power of love. Love yourself, and you are loved back. Once I understood and accepted myself, I became more accepting of others. I noticed that the more I loved myself (not narcissistically), the more loving I became. I projected love outwards, and it would return to me in kind.

I believe that self-love opens one up and makes room in the heart for others. I know that the hole in our being is filled when we embrace all of life. From an introverted nerd, I turned naturally and without effort into an extrovert. I attribute this transformation to my journey of self-discovery and self-love.

We are interconnected and interdependent. That is, all of life is a web of connections. We are connected to everything and everyone. These connections are invisible but can be felt. We feel the vibrations of others, hence the saying, I feel your vibe. Our emotions create a force field around us. This field attracts or repels others depending on the size of the hole in our being. The closer we are to our authentic selves, the more attractive the force field around us is. It draws others to us. It also affects others’ force fields. Likewise, others’ force fields affect us. I find myself being sucked into another person’s drama. Negative feelings toward others drain me, while positive attitudes of others uplift me.

I have come to believe that, in personal relationships, the invisible field that we create around us has a much greater impact than anything we say or do. We can mislead others by our words and deeds, but our vibrations reveal our true intentions. We cannot fake our vibrations; they are always authentic.

Communion happens when we are fully present to another. In relationships with others, we should be after communion, not communication. What most people want from us is not presents but our presence. When we are transparent within, we let others’ words and sentiments reach us without refracting them from our detritus. But first, we must get rid of the detritus in us, which is the point of self-discovery.

The more we know ourselves, the more transparent we become to others. The more transparent we are, the more open we are. The more open we are, the more life flows through us without resistance. What we resist persists.

Quantum Electro Dynamics, or QED, is the latest theory in quantum physics. It is a theory that elegantly combines Einstein’s theory with quantum mechanics. So, it is of great interest to physicists. But, I find one aspect of QED useful as a metaphor for thinking about life. The essence of QED is that all of nature is made of energetic fields. Low energy fields are forces, and high energy fields are matter. Many fields juxtapose and intersect to create different forms of matter. Each subatomic particle has fields associated with it. In QED, matter does not matter; the interaction of fields matters. The interaction between and among these fields can explain all of their existence. These fields are best visualized as a multidimensional matrix that waves, weaves, and wafts to create our reality. In both QED and Mahayana Buddhism, the interactions between phenomena are the reality, not the phenomena themselves.

I interpret all of this to mean that my physical body, which seems so substantial and real, might be a mental construct and the “real deal” are the interconnections. It is as if we are the spigot through which flow our energies. What affects the world around us is not the “spigot” –of our physical self but the invisible field that flows out of the spigot. The fields are the thoughts and emotions that flow out of us. If love flows out of us, then we create a field of love; if hatred flows out of us, we create hatred in the world.

When we change ourselves, we change our force field, which changes all force fields; that is, we change the world. Hence the saying attributed to Gandhi and Mark Twain, “be the change you want to see in the world.”

When we love ourselves unconditionally, the world loves us back. Loving ourselves unconditionally happens when we are whole inside. When we have fixed our broken parts. Love is a force field that flows from within us and affects others.

Be love. Be loved. Beloved.

My body is flooded
With the flame of Love.
My soul lives in
A furnace of bliss.

Love’s fragrance
Fills my mouth,
And fans through all things
With each outbreath. 

Kabir

Einstein is known to have said, “I want to know the mind of God.” Nobel laureate Leon Lederman in his book The God Particle, writes about the quest for the single equation in physics that would combine Einstein’s theory of relativity and quantum theory into a single unifying theory. This Theory of Everything is the holy grail of physics. Will we ever know the mind of God?

Let us examine what we already know about the human mind and its relation to the mind of God. We know that all of existence is a creation of our minds. It is as if our mind projects a movie that we mistake for reality. Our senses gather the material from which our mind creates our reality. This material is energy. Imagine, for a moment, that this energy is like jello, and our senses interact with this jello as it jiggles and wiggles, sending signals to the brain; our brain processes these signals and presents them to us as reality. But, this reality, for the most part, is not unique to us. It is a shared reality. The brains of the hundreds of billions of humans who have ever existed have created and recreated the same physical reality for all of humanity. When we see a tree, we all agree that it is a tree, we give it different names and have different associations with it, but we agree that it is a tree; this is true for all that exists. A rose by any other name is still a rose.

So, it seems, our brains are similarly wired for all humans. Every object or form in the universe has a corresponding pattern or representation in the human brain. This pattern is identical in all humans. It is this pattern that we recognize as our universe. We call this the objective universe because it is the same for all of us. The experience of this objective universe is different for each of us and hence subjective. We can all agree on what a rose looks like but usually have different opinions of its fragrance. The rose is objective, but the fragrance is subjective. The objective world has the same representation in each of our brains; it is almost as if there is a universal brain or mind- the mind of God.

According to physicists, all matter, energy, and forces were created fourteen billion years ago in what is known as the Big Bang. Everything that exists in the universe, including us humans, has evolved out of the Big Bang. Humans have a relatively recent history in the universe. Homo sapiens, the first modern humans, evolved from their hominid predecessors about 200,000 to 300,000 years ago. The three scientific theories that are the scaffolding for our understanding of the universe are Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, and Quantum Theory. Darwin’s theory explains how from inert matter life evolved; Einstein’s Theory of Relativity explains space-time, energy, and matter and their interaction on a macro scale; the quantum theory explains the working of matter, energy, and forces at the smallest scale of subatomic particles. No single theory explains the macro world of planets and galaxies and the micro-world of quarks and leptons. Physicists are in search of the Theory of Everything or the mind of God.

Allow me to speculate why western science has been unable to know the mind of God and perhaps will never know it. My thesis is that western science has cleaved the universe into objective and subjective domains. The objective domain is, as previously described, the world that we perceive through our senses, that is, the world outside us; the subjective world is the world inside us. The mind of God does not make this distinction, I believe. There is only one in God’s mind: it is all that exists; there is no separation between the outside and the inside worlds. There can be no theory of everything until there is a theory of everything-the subjective and objective.

Vedic sages did not distinguish between the inside and the outside worlds; they came to a different understanding of Reality than the western scientists. Their view was that an individual could meld their mind with the mind of God; this is a radical view and easy to reject out of hand. Vedic practices of yoga and meditation are how ancient sages accomplished this union with God. In the west, we are only recently discovering the benefits of yoga and meditation; we have yet to realize the inherent potential in these practices.