Notice how “be love” becomes “be loved” or “beloved” by adding a single letter; it bespeaks the transformative power of love. Love yourself, and you are loved back. Once I understood and accepted myself, I became more accepting of others. I noticed that the more I loved myself (not narcissistically), the more loving I became. I projected love outwards, and it would return to me in kind.

I believe that self-love opens one up and makes room in the heart for others. I know that the hole in our being is filled when we embrace all of life. From an introverted nerd, I turned naturally and without effort into an extrovert. I attribute this transformation to my journey of self-discovery and self-love.

We are interconnected and interdependent. That is, all of life is a web of connections. We are connected to everything and everyone. These connections are invisible but can be felt. We feel the vibrations of others, hence the saying, I feel your vibe. Our emotions create a force field around us. This field attracts or repels others depending on the size of the hole in our being. The closer we are to our authentic selves, the more attractive the force field around us is. It draws others to us. It also affects others’ force fields. Likewise, others’ force fields affect us. I find myself being sucked into another person’s drama. Negative feelings toward others drain me, while positive attitudes of others uplift me.

I have come to believe that, in personal relationships, the invisible field that we create around us has a much greater impact than anything we say or do. We can mislead others by our words and deeds, but our vibrations reveal our true intentions. We cannot fake our vibrations; they are always authentic.

Communion happens when we are fully present to another. In relationships with others, we should be after communion, not communication. What most people want from us is not presents but our presence. When we are transparent within, we let others’ words and sentiments reach us without refracting them from our detritus. But first, we must get rid of the detritus in us, which is the point of self-discovery.

The more we know ourselves, the more transparent we become to others. The more transparent we are, the more open we are. The more open we are, the more life flows through us without resistance. What we resist persists.

Quantum Electro Dynamics, or QED, is the latest theory in quantum physics. It is a theory that elegantly combines Einstein’s theory with quantum mechanics. So, it is of great interest to physicists. But, I find one aspect of QED useful as a metaphor for thinking about life. The essence of QED is that all of nature is made of energetic fields. Low energy fields are forces, and high energy fields are matter. Many fields juxtapose and intersect to create different forms of matter. Each subatomic particle has fields associated with it. In QED, matter does not matter; the interaction of fields matters. The interaction between and among these fields can explain all of their existence. These fields are best visualized as a multidimensional matrix that waves, weaves, and wafts to create our reality. In both QED and Mahayana Buddhism, the interactions between phenomena are the reality, not the phenomena themselves.

I interpret all of this to mean that my physical body, which seems so substantial and real, might be a mental construct and the “real deal” are the interconnections. It is as if we are the spigot through which flow our energies. What affects the world around us is not the “spigot” –of our physical self but the invisible field that flows out of the spigot. The fields are the thoughts and emotions that flow out of us. If love flows out of us, then we create a field of love; if hatred flows out of us, we create hatred in the world.

When we change ourselves, we change our force field, which changes all force fields; that is, we change the world. Hence the saying attributed to Gandhi and Mark Twain, “be the change you want to see in the world.”

When we love ourselves unconditionally, the world loves us back. Loving ourselves unconditionally happens when we are whole inside. When we have fixed our broken parts. Love is a force field that flows from within us and affects others.

Be love. Be loved. Beloved.

My body is flooded
With the flame of Love.
My soul lives in
A furnace of bliss.

Love’s fragrance
Fills my mouth,
And fans through all things
With each outbreath. 

Kabir